Prince Charming VS Prince Valour
by nairiefairie
Summary: The adventure of a life time.Charming with his flattery and Valour with his courage. Who will win the heart of the fair maiden? Can poor Kirk survive the royal pair? COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Prince Charming V.S Prince Valour

The mission

The two young prince had grown up side by side, after all they were twin brothers. Both were slightly pig headed, and over the top. Where Charming's looks were light, blonde hair, fair skin, blue eyes, Valour's were dark. It was coming up to their twentieth birthday this year, the age of wooing a young princess.

" I will climb up to the highest tower, with no door and kiss the sleeping princess." Declared Charming.

Valour snorted. " I will fight a dragon and rescue the fair maiden."

In the corner, their young advisor rolled his hazel eyes muttering. "Like that hasn't been done before. They can't even have an original thought."

The king unlike the young princes had caught the advisor's loose tongue. The king grinned wickedly.

" Yes I know just the Princess. Boys there will be a competition, who can get to her first and I want Kirk to go with you pair, as my eyes."

The young and some what foolish advisor looked at the King horrified. How could the King expect him to put up with such bumbling idiots. He wasn't cut out for adventures. He for the first time in his life wished he had bit his tongue.

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Jill rolled back her sleeves listening to the men laugh at the humorousness of the kings sons. They had started out on a great grand mission. Jill saw this as the opportunity she had been waiting for. Jill wasn't a pretty girl, her dull brown hair was cut off to above her shoulders, on her left cheek mark, a hideous scar of her battles. She wasn't at all, easy on the eyes. She may have had the basic womanly features but a woman she was not. She had lived one of those lives, that remain unknown to the villages around her. She had grown up fast, she had grown up strong. She was wild almost, untamed.

Jill had goals in life. She wanted a life of a soldier, of a warrior. She had been through enough to add least own that title. But as was the day and time, she was denied what she wanted, because when it came down to it, she was still a she, a girl.

She moved stealthily behind the two young princes and a lanky odd looking man. She eyed them up. Prince Charming stood there with his smile that melted females heart everywhere, while next to him stood Valour, the dark brooding Prince the girl wanted desperately, to be the one, that made him smile. Stupid really, that's what attracted them in the first place, why would you change the characteristics you liked the best? Jill wasn't the kind of girl who was going to fall madly in love and pop out a few children, she wasn't interested in that kind of life. No she wanted the open road, the air, freedom and fighting. Yes she loved a good scuffle. So as she followed the three men she hoped for something more for her life.

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_My first fairytale story. I don't know how this is ever going to match up to some of the brilliant writers that are in the section. I don't know where I am really going with this, I knew as I wrote the first two lines then suddenly I wrote Jill and now I have to add her into my plots. Shakes her head, what the hell was I thinking… oh any ideas welcome!!! I always know the ending and the start but the middle stumps me at times, so if you want something ask and I'll add it (if it's reasonable). NF_


	2. Chapter 2

On the road

Kirk had never walked so far in his life. He moaned again as the young princes tried to hurry him. He looked up at them pointedly. " You try walking for a while instead of sitting up there in your high horses." Oh that's right, Kirk was funny, but his comedy was wasted on the dim witted Princes who wouldn't notice a decent joke if they tripped over it. Kirk sighed looking to Valour, who at least wasn't as ridiculously vain, stupid still, but he only had so much to work with.

" How far away is this darn, singing damsel in distress, locked in a door less tower, with a dragon roaming around at the base?"

Valour looked stunned slightly, a few seconds later, when he had processed what Kirk had said he responded cockily.

"Only five thousands leagues form home." Kirk groaned, wiping the sweat off his normally dry forehead.

" And how far do you estimate we've come?" Valour frowned at the advisor. Kirk sighed. " It means guess." the dark haired Prince had that _oh _look on his face, as it dawned on him.

" Maybe one, two if you stretch it a bit."

Kirk groaned running his hands through his redish brown hair.

A sudden girlish scream came from ahead, and both boys took off running to Charming who was ducking behind his horse.

" What wrong?" Asked Kirk.

" I saw something so hideous, I think she might have been an evil wicked witch." Kirk looked to Valour who rolled his eyes childishly. He decided to check it out, searching the bushes Charming had indicated too. Kirk liked this idea greatly, let the Prince die bravely and in vain while, he and Charming nicked off back home to the palace. Yes the plan was flawless, that was until Valour reappeared carrying a small girl by her shoulders. She probably wasn't that small, it's was just compared to the bulk of the Prince was her size diminished. She was average height, really not that height meant much when she had a face as ugly as that. No wonder Charming thought she was a witch, he hadn't seen an ugly person since they were banded from the royal grounds five years ago.

" She wants to come to protect us!" Laughed Valour heartily. The girl scowled at him then at Charming who was still staring at the side of her face.

" What are you looking at?" She snarled at the Prince. He gaped like a fish, which only made Valour laugh harder.

" I like her." He chuckled at his brother revolted look. " I think she can tag along for a while if only to scare Charming."

Charming glared at Valour but held his tongue.

" What is your name, miss?" Kirk the only one polite enough to bother to speak to the girl, asked.

" It's Jill." She said still hostile.

Well thought Kirk, this is going to be a long trip.

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Please deal with the distance thing, if it's wrong imagine I wrote what you wanted, because I can't tell a centimetre from a millimetre. Or if you think you can explain it to me try, but dumb it down (you have no idea how long it took me to read a clock) lol. Review!!!! Rolls her eyes, fine, grumbles, PLEASE! Happy? Can I get a review now??

NF


	3. Chapter 3

The others fears

"No!!" She screamed. " You can't make me!"

Charming laughed wickedly as Valour picked poor Jill up by the shoulders.

"Put me down, you brute!"

"Oh and I am sure that's going to help." Snorted Kirk looking down at the map, Charming had been using. The advisor was about to through a hissy fit at the prince noticing he had been looking at it the wrong way round and now they were in fact further from the maiden then when they started. But his words disappeared as he watched the two princes try to 'clean' Jill.

The girl was latching onto Valour like a cat, as he yanked her, with the assistance of Charming into the river. She screamed and cursed words at the three of them that, even a pirate would blush at, as they dunked her under. Kirk sighed turning back to the map, hoping to find a short cut to their now longer trip.

It had been a fornight, and they had almost killed each other. Jill probably deserved the drowning, the thing the princes were calling a bath, after all she started this all.

….. Three days ago…..

It was late at night Jill had just come back from a walk that the boys suspected was a toilet stop. Her eyes seemed to glow.

"Look what I found." She said excitedly shoving her hand in Valour's face. Kirk froze, covering his ears. If it was possible, Valour's high pitch scream was more painful then Charming.

"Get that monster away from me!" Kirk raised his eyebrow, watching the sight before him.

Valour, mister oh so brave, was fleeing the crazy girl holding what appeared to be a tarantula. Kirk shook his head. Little did he realise that this scene would become familiar the next day but for entirely different reasons.

The next day Jill had spent the morning being insulted about not only her career path but her size. Charming as it turned out, only took after his name when it suited him. He had been teasing the poor girl all day. Not to worry, Kirk had noticed Jill quick and witty retorts and the underlying threat she seemed to almost hiss along with them. Finally Charming had done it, he had pushed her over the edge.

" even a frog prince wouldn't want to kiss you, if I was a frog I think I would rather stay that way, then to have your filthy ugly lips near me."

Kirk laughed relpying for her. "have you ever heard the one, when a guy picks on a girl, it's because he loves her."

Jill's eyes light up with a positively evil glow.

"I knew you loved me, give us a kiss prince Charming." she was being sarcastic. Charming's reaction however was to hard to pass up. She winked at the other two, an evil glint in her eyes as she ran off after him. "come on, give us a kiss." Charming yelled, something along the lines of hell no, but lets not repeat it, it was bad enough once.

After many hours of searching Valour and Kirk came across Jill lying across a log, sleeping peaceful.

"Where's Prince Charming?" she opened her eye glaring at Kirk or disturbing her cat nap.

"Cowardly more like." She yawned stretching. "he's pretending to be a bird, or perhaps a over sized squirrel." She point up the tree she was under.

"Save me! She's a monster!" the boys laughed and finally tricked him down. His eyes wondered warily over to Jill who was happily cackling away to herself.

"I tell you she wicked." Charming whispered to Valour.

The day pasted without anymore really trouble too bad the next day couldn't of been the same.

"So Mister obnoxious what are you afraid of?" Kirk froze, he looked up into her eyes.

"apples."

"wait, what?"

"please, you don't really think I would honestly tell you after the last days I have spent with you." She pouted, which was in no way flattering with her scar.

He wished by the end of the day he had told her something, anything, rather then of suffered the way he did. She put worms in his food and the rest he didn't even want to think about.

So as she was getting drowned by the two handsome princes, he didn't blatter a eyelash.

"we're going the wrong way." He called annoyed.

"no we're not." Spluttered Jill in between dunks. " there's two dead man's hill." she went under again before they pulled her out again. "it's like the little dipper and the big one." he looked down at the map finding that she was right. He blushed and all he could say was 'oh'.

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a.n.

I am so funny. Yes I am. That's right if no one wants to tell me then I'll tell myself, that's ok, I will continue to praise my own brilliance until somebody gives me a review or two….. And yes I know the first sign of crazyness is talking to yourself but I am so much cooler, I answer myself back ;) p.s I think I hit the wall I'll see tomorrow if there's any brain cells left but I am not to hopeful, ttfn.


	4. Chapter 4

Up the tallest tower

Many (slightly over exgarated by the author who does do distance) leagues away, there was a princess, way up high, in the tallest tower, with no doors and a dragon guarding the entrance or maybe the creature wanted to rescue the fair maiden, like we would ever know… Hell the mood I am in let through shrek in.

Ok, ok, I am stop mucking around. From the top.

Up the tallest tower

Many leagues away from the two stunning princes, stood a beautiful fair princess. She had hair the colour of the burning sun and her eyes were of the ocean. She sang so sweetly that angels would cry. Yes she was the prefect princess, the dream girl of the royal world.

The only problem was her living arrangements. She was as we said locked in a tower, on the top of dead man's hill, well one of them. At the bottom of her tower slept a fierce dragon. She sighed dramatically dropping onto her amazingly soft bed.

"oh, will no prince, rescue me?"

"probably not."

She jumped up, glaring across at the mirror on the other side of the room. That's right, even the witch couldn't stand hearing she wasn't the prettiest woman alive so she shoved it in her junk room, the tower.

"Well, at least I am honest, you may be gorgeous, honey, but that's not going to get your behind outta here."

"Shut up!" She snarled.

"oh, it that time again, is it?"

"urrgh!" She screamed, throwing her stylish shoe at the glass.

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I said she was sweet but I never said she was nice. Lol. Shrugs like you wouldn't be a little cranky being locked up. Ok, I just really wanted to write this, hee hee, what can I say? It's short I know, but I thought I'd post it for the new year!!!!

Happy new year by the way. ; )

Feel sorry for me I am going to the carnival tomorrow, over the coast, somebody save me, darn the new year!


	5. Chapter 5

Cutters Cove

It had been three days of travelling in the rain now. The Princes sat upon their noble horse, which were now coated in flickers of mud. Jill and Kirk wondered along behind cursing the Princes for continuing on in hail, rain or shine, and they had face the lot.

"there's a town up ahead, Cutters cove, we should stop." Kirk informed Charming.

"no, we must save the princess." Kirk slapped his head, what did he do to deserve this? He hadn't killed and kittens, so why was he dammed.

"yes but we have eat at some point."

"and you know, you might like the wet dog look, but if any Princess saw you look like that she'd run a mile." Jill said rather smugly as Charming combed his fingers through his drenched hair.

"maybe she right, Val." He looked over to his brother who snorted.

"She won't care about my looks, it's my strength and bravery she will fall for."

Jill raised her eyebrow at the Prince. Kirk grinned leaning over to her, whispering in her ear. "He means, his ego."

Jill smirked. "Ah, well then, she'll falling all over it." The pair burst out in silent laughter. While Valour and Charming looked at them oddly.

"I think the weather broke them." Charming looked concerned.

"maybe one night wouldn't hurt." Valour sighed.

Cutters cove was a large city by the sea side. There was the big sailing race in the morning, so accommadation was nearly impossible to find. Everywhere they went was full in the end they reached a seedy bar on the dockside with rooms above.

"Let me handle this." Charming said cockily strutting over to the bar.

"oh this should be good." Jill rubbed her hands together. The other had been told no, everywhere and this was the last place you would see a couple of Princes. It was dirty and smelly. Drunks yelled and cheered at nothing in particular and fights broke out over any old thing. This was Jill's kind of bar. The boys, not so much.

The bar man laughed at Charming. It was the kind of laugh that was ha ha funny, no it was, ha ha, you moron. He had failed to get a room again.

"Out again." Sighed Charming.

"Let me have a go." Said Jill shoving her way to the bar.

"Hello there." She flirted. The bar man raised his eyebrow. She growled. "look, darn it, we want a room, I'll bet Val can bet your best arm wrestler."

"how about this, if you girly, cam bet him, I'll give you the best room I have." He smiled wickedly. She stretched her hand over the bar.

"Deal." The barman didn't notice her crocodile grin or the wink she sent to her gang.

He was huge, with arms bigger then her waist. She gulped as the man across from her smirked. She looked up at Kirk, who noticed that evil glint she got when she was about to cause trouble. The Princes thought he was going to brake her arm when they put their hands together.

"on the count of three. One, two, three!" Before the guy had a chance to blink, hid arm hit the table. A howl of laughter echoed through the room.

"What?!" He splattered. "She cheated!"

"No, she's just faster then you." Cheered Valour.

Drinks seemed to come at them from every angle and before long they were all laughing and joking. It wasn't long before they passed out. All in all it was a good night, the only problem was when they woke up.

Groggily Kirk got up. Everything felt like it was swaying. He groaned running over to the side, throwing up. The others muttered their annoyance of been woken by his musical talent.

"Hey, guys?" One by one they looked at Jill, who looked the worst of all. "Do you remember anything? Like how we end up at sea?"

"We're Where?!" Yelled the Princes simultaneously.

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_God did I not think I was going to get this done today but hey, a new chapter. Yes I am attempting to put out a chapter a day so I can finish this thing fast. Sorry about the mistakes but what can you expect I only wrote a minute ago. Review, and suggest things, I don't know what I am gonna do tomorrow, need review and idea's asap! Or who knows what I'll give you. NF_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hmmm__…__ no reviews, people are either lack imagination worse then me or that was a crappy chapter__…__ oh well a new day a new chapter, no idea__'__s again so I am left to destroying my own creation once again. I am think right now splitting the gang is on the agenda, if anyone__'__s following this, let me know if you like or hate the idea (mind you I ll probably do it anyway, thanks RC1! Yes I nicknamed you cause I hate trying to spell it.) _

The catch of Fishing around

Kirk leaned back against the side of the deck, his stomach churning with each passing wave. The Princes were having a fit of sorts, while Jill was begging one of the men to give her his sword.

"Come on, please?" She begged, eyes glued on the hilt.

"Look girly, you couldn't even lift it, if you wanted too."

"I bet you I could."

Kirk sighed. He was beginning to notice a trend with Jill. She only betted when she was sure she was going to win.

"you know what, if you can swing it I'll let you have it."

"Really?" she perked up. He nodded, offering the sword over to her. She grabbed the handle taking it in her hands. Kirk noticed the slight twitch on the edge of her lips as she swang the iron around. That thing must of weighed a tone. The sailor roared with laughter. A few of the boys recounted her success the night before in the bar.

Kirk couldn't understand it, these people loved her like their own. He didn't know how anyone could love her. Sure she had a few good traits, after all they had become friends, kind of, but she was so darn annoying. Maybe she was best in small doses.

The Princes headed over to Kirk both looking worse for wear.

"so advisor, how do you suppose we get out of this one?" Grumbled Charming.

"where is this ship headed?" He asked.

"Owlend city." grunted Valour.

"God help us." Kirk cried.

Jill over hearing this, called over to them.

"Because nobody else will."

The boys sat around on deck sulking. Jill had talked them into fishing, after all, they had a whole day to waste.

"there is never going to be a catch, I swear there is no more fish in the sea."

"that's why, you are fighting your brother over the same one." Muttered Kirk under his breath. He sighed looking at Jill, who had caught what he had said, she had a stupid smirk on her face.

He shrugged his shoulders turning back to the fishing pole in his hands.

"On the plus side, this trip has cut off maybe a thousand leagues." She supplied suddenly.

"Really?" Kirk liked that idea.

"No."

He pouted, "You're horrible."

"I am the sister you always wanted." She smiled brightly.

"I have a sister, and I would take her any day over you."

"Someone's cranky." Laughed Valour.

"Bite, me." He growled.

"Oh, Kirk's got a fish." Charming said.

"No, I don't." Kirk replied looking at his rod.

"But you said you had a bite."

"Oh brother." Valour slapped his head.

"What?" Asked Charming.

Jill looked over to Kirk thoughtfully.

"I guess there's always a catch after all."

_Ok people I need idea__'__s there is only so much I can come up with over night, or last minute. I think I may have a slight idea, maybe but you__'__ll have to wait until tomorrow now, ha ha ha!!! P.s review!!!!!! Please? _


	7. Chapter 7

I love writing this, despite the lack of response. I will continue my mock fairytale until the end!! You can't stop me! (insert evil cackle) but I might slack out of the effort and love and devotion. It will stay at the same standard I hope…. Guess you'll see….

Owlend city

Part one (yes I am holding out on you, or to be honest to tired to finish the chapter anyhow…)

"Now be on your guard, this is a dangerous place." Valour whispered as they entered the city limits.

"It's not that bad." Muttered Kirk, blushing slightly. The others didn't know it but his was his home. He had grown up in the toughest city in the world and get nothing had rubbed off on him, except maybe his tongue. The others feared the people, the violence this place was known for, he however was scared he'd run into his mother.

Up the road he indicated to a bar, for them to stop at. It was the biggest mistake he could of ever made. As they pushed open the door a high pitched scream alerted the room, that they had arrived.

"Kirk!" She squealed again, running over giving him a hug. His face turned bright red, as the others raised their eyebrows at him.

"guys, this is my sister, Lidia."

The princes just stared. She was dark and beautiful, not to mention the bust line, the author refuses to acknowledge they were looking at, no, for the sake of the story and their pure royal blood it was her eyes, they were a deep shade of amber, yes that sounds better. To bad Jill didn't agree.

Jill snorted. "Males." She stomped off, out the door and into the night. The Princes shrugged looking back at Lidia.

"What a stunning young lady." Charming kissed her hand and she giggled. "Why didn't you ever tell us you had such a beautiful sister?" He dazzled her with a killer smile. She blushed under his gaze.

Kirk was unable to watch such a display, his eyes darting to the floor, as he shrugged, feeling queasy. He didn't know it yet but he was about to sit through the most horrible hour of his life.

Jill stormed through the street anger as hell. How dare they, look at ladies as if they were some slab of meat. it wasn't because she was jealous, no, she told herself, they were meant to be Princes, they weren't meant to be like the rest of the scum out on the streets. Yes even Jill had heard those stories, these so called fairytales, but she knew better then to believe in such nonsense. No Jill only believed in what she could see, what was real, and no man, nor woman were ever going to fit into that ideal picture frame, but it would have been nice.

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You'll never beat the day I just had. Hee hee.

I went to Crackpot, to get lost, which is just passed No Where Else, where we were held up at a cow crossing, there was a heard on the road(and I don't mean the people kind)…………… I think I'll stop now before you all think I am bonkers, BUT IT TRUE! (nobody will believe me, but I, is not lying!)

Oh and you know, a review might be nice, even if it's a 'you are bad,' at least I'll know. So until tomorrow……. ;)


	8. Chapter 8

Part two

It was now Charming's turn to sulk. Yes he had spent the better half of the hour wooing in the pretty girl when suddenly she slipped and Valour caught her around the waist. She giggled and brushed a lovely shade of red, her eyes now only for his brother. Chivalry was still worth more then, charm or bravery, sadly, Valour had got to her first. Charming cursed, looking around.

"Where's Jill?"

Kirk the only one paying the slightest attention to him, mainly to avoid watching his sweet darling sister making goo goo eyes at the other prince.

"She left hours ago, like I wished I had done. Man is it good to be home." Even Charming noted the sarcasm.

"Shouldn't the witch be back then?" Kirk looked at the time and frowned.

"I think we should look for her, it's late." A pinch of concern laid on the edge of his tongue. He frowned again, Valour wasn't going anywhere right now, but Kirk wasn't sure, Charming really had the guts to save her, hell anyone. He was doubting the blondes chances of betting his brother in the competition for the maiden. Charming was, well charming. Kirk had yet to notice any particular skills or talents the young Prince had gained over his years of training. Then again, Valour wasn't really any better.

"Ok, lets go."

Jill leaned against the wall casually as the dark shady looking figure approached her. She sneered as the masked man got closer. He pulled out a long blade that made the one she got off the pirates look like a toy. She smirked, a challenge, she raised the blade. He cocked his head to the side looking at her, seeing that, yes she was in fact a girl. He laughed lunging towards Jill, with unnatural speed.

_What?! Hee hee again you get a small piece and the offer of suggesting anything reasonable. I can__'__t believe no one bite the hook I laid out last author__'__s note, hello?? Clearly no ones reading this,sighs maybe they are all on holiday__…__ I hope!!! _


	9. Chapter 9

The ditched

Charming and Kirk walked around another dark and errie corner, because out here they all were. But this time they found something new, or rather familiar, Jill.

She was standing here, her face glowing from gloating, a man lying bleeding to death on the ground.

"was that really necessary?" Scowled Kirk, looking at the man she had defeated.

"well it wasn't really until he called me a weak little girl, then it was to personal to let him walk away." She smiled smuggly. Kirk snorted, yanking her arm, dragging her along with Charming out of the alley. They didn't want to get caught around here.

"So." Jill sounded pissed. "What happened to miss oh so pretty?" she snarled.

"Ask Valour." Snapped Charming.

Jill looked puzzled. "huh?"

"apparently my sister likes her men to be brave." Jill looked sorrowfully at Charming.

"that put you …. Out of luck." She teased brighting up.

He grunted gruffly.

They travelled back to the tavern to stay the night. The next day is when really went south.

Kirk walked into the odds fight he had ever witnessed. They weren't yelling, Princes don't yell but they do speak in abnormally loud tones. Most of it was impossible to understand, they kept referring to past times he didn't understand, which lead to much waving of arms. Silently Jill sat down next to Kirk, eating her apple amused.

"block your ears, the hand movement speaks more sense then either of them." Kirk gave her a dirty look but secretly agreed, that it was indeed, very comical.

"I fight in the name of truth and love!" Cried Charming dramatically.

"If you fight for truth and love then I am the wizard of oz."

"of where?" Jill whispered to Kirk.

"Later." he hissed back, watching the argument.

"you wouldn't even know the point end of a sword, fight, ha!" Valour snorted.

"well I see this is where we part ways, I can no longer stand to be around such an ogre."

"Fine!" Snapped Valour.

"Fine!" Spat Charming both storming out different doors, taking their over the top cloaks only Princes are stupid enough to wear, wait I take that back, so do super hero's but lets not go into that just now.

"umm, should we follow them?" Jill looked at Kirk, who raised his eyebrow. "aren't you meant to be the advisor?"

"I guess." He sighed. "I'll go after Valour, see if I can get him to pull his head out of the unroyal place, you go after Charming, somebody's got to save him." Jill nodded.

"I'll meet you at the old ruins, that is just over the half way point."

"Sure, sure." She muttered wondering out the door after Charming. Kirk sighed again, this was going to be one hell of a long trip.

_Oh my god!!! I broke them up, I am so mean!! oh well!_

_I hope you find these chapters funny, I like to make people laugh and most of the times it is at my won expense…._

_You know what I would like? Yes a shiny new review. And a car. And a million dollars. Yes I guess I can dream…._


	10. Chapter 10

The broken paths

A few weeks later

It had been three weeks and five days of Charming only grunting in response to anything Jill said. She had even threaten to kiss him, but nothing would change his mood. That was until they ran into a pretty blonde servant girl, or rather Jill did.

"Watch it." She snarled, glaring at the pretty girl. The young girl blushed apologising. It was like a light bulb finally clicked on in Charming's head. He said of course that it was entirely Jill's fault, claimed he was ever so sorry for Jill's short sighted-ness and continued on to flatter the girl. Jill snorted at the poetic sweetness flowing from her partner's mouth. She had never heard so much verbal vomit in her life. She leaned over and grab Charming by the collar, dragging him away.

As they walked up the hill, well Jill was dragging Charming. He through her off.

" What was that for?" He spat.

"Someone had to save you from yourself." He glared at her coldly. "And her husband."

Charming's eyes shot wide open as he spun around to watch the girl, kissing a bulky but stunning man.

"Hey cheer up." Jill patted him on the back. " At least she wasn't ditching you for your brother." Jill laughed taking off, running ahead. Charming growled running after her.

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"Shh!" Hissed Valour.

"But he is following us." Whispered Kirk.

"Don't you think I know that?" Growled Valour.

"This is your fault. You stand out, with your stupid cape." Valour gave him a filthy look before turning back to their path.

The pair speed up turning around the corner of a building in the small town they were passing through. Valour dragged Kirk behind him. As the scruffy boy came around the corner he was slammed against the stone wall.

"Who the hell are you? What do you want?" Snarled Valour.

"Names, Jack. I have come to offer my assistants to you, lovely travellers."

Kirk snorted. "Likely story kid, what do you want?" The boy glared.

"I followed you planning on picking your pocket. Princes have a bit of money I hear."

"How did you know I am a Prince?" Asked Valour.

"I can't recall, but for a pretty penny or two I could maybe search the back of my mind." The boys eyes glinted evilly.

"Fine Jack, tell us everything and we want the truth."

The boy pocketed the money, grinning.

"Some old witch paid me to follow you and report back to her, every bit of information is worth it's wait in gold." the boy grinned wide revealing two missing teeth at the back.

"Val, we have a problem. We can't just let him go back to the witch and report in, how do you feel about the lines of good and bad." Kirk smiled, eyes twinkling.

"oh there's a few faded patches, things can stray." the prince smirked catching his drift. Jack looked at the pair of them curiously.

"Not above kidnapping are we?" Kirk's eyes fell on the boy.

"Not at all."

Wow its been awhile since I did this one, the lack of response other then rc1 is disappointing but I will finish but at crawling timing. I had troubles with ideas then I was annoying Icarus when it hit me, and so the story continues….sorry to disappoint you but there's a little more to come…I know your asking why right rc1, because, I can, grins manically. Please review if you want a update!!


	11. Chapter 11

Jack and Jill went up the hill

Charming leaned back against a tree watching Jill practicing with her sword. They had been together for a few months now, fighting and joking.

He had always been vain in looks, and Jill was no oil painting but she had a fun personality. Sure he hated her at times but the ugly little thing was growing on him and not in a good way. Last night they had been at a bar and she had made him feel guilt for charming a few free drinks out of the barmaid. He didn't like it, what was wrong with him? He had been worried that night in Owlend, when she didn't come back. Maybe he was sick?

Then they were asked to leave, Charming had refused. There was a fight, Charming was embarrassed to admit it, but Jill had save his behind.

"Hey Charming, maybe we should get a move on, the others will be waiting for us." She called over. Charming got up, yes there was his brother to beat, he couldn't let him win the maiden.

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"Where are they?" Grumbled Kirk. He was tired and Jack had been a nightmare. They had arrived at the old ruins. They were at the bottom of a hill, tired and thirsty. Kirk looked up to see they a well at the very top of the hill, typical. As Jill and Charming appeared from around the corner, Kirk foolishly took his eyes of the kid.

"Freedom to the people!" Jack bellowed at the top of his lung making a run for it up the hill.

"After him!" Valour screamed. Oddly enough, Jill was the fastest, but the boy was not bad, he made it to almost the top when Jill tugged him backwards by his collar. Jack lost his balance, grabbing Jill on his way down. The pair rolled down the hill, Jack first with Jill tumbling after him.

Jill growled getting to her feet with assistance from Charming. Kirk raised his eyebrow at this action but said nothing.

"Who the hell is this?" She kicked Jack. He moaned rolling over.

"We had a situation." Valour said shrugging.

"It's ok, Prince can't go to gaol for kidnapping."

"You did What!!" She screeched looking down at the boy.

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Wow did I just wrote that? Someone hit me, or a review could be good??? I have two whole people reading this, I am so proud!! Thanks RC1 and Rita, don't worry after this one is finished I'll stay back in my normal section. I think I'll try to finish this thing very soon… I hope. A few more crazy chapters and it will all be done. Please review, it really does make my day ;)


	12. Chapter 12

The not so rescue

Jill had taken to Jack like a big sister, protective but horrible to him. Kirk wonder if either of them realised how close they had become. It was odd watching them bicker but it seemed so natural, like when Charming and Valour fought. Kirk was beginning to notice that both princes energy had sizzled out for this recuse mission. They were a merely mile away. There journey was at an end. Instead of running to the finish line they both were almost dragging their feet. Kirk had noticed the change of attitude between Jill and Charming, and Valour had been asking too many questions about Kirk's sister, it was starting to get awkward. On the plus side, now they could see the tower. Oh and did I mention the dragon?

As they approached the sleeping red scaled dragon they froze. It was curled up around the bases of the tower, in a cat like fashion. Smelling them it yawned and stretched, getting up to greet them with shiny fangs.

"Do you think its hungry?" Charming asked nervous.

"I hope not, let hope it's a morning creature." Kirk said grimly just as it let out a flame of green fire.

"wow!" Jack gasped as Kirk cringed.

"Guess not."

The dragon snorted sitting back down. The gang looked at each other as the dragon closed it's eyes to tried to bother with them. Suddenly the witch popped out of a tree, she poked the dragon.

"You stupid git! Your meant to attack the intruders!"

If it was in fact possible for a dragon to roll it's eyes, it would have rolled them. It got back up, give the witch a threatening snap on the way before turning to the gang.

"What do we do?!" Cried the princes together. Jill snorted, men. She pulled out her sword attacking the beast with a furious wrath. Jack watched in owe, mentally taking note, not to make dear Jill cranky.

"Ok, brains. How do I get up there?" Charming asked Kirk.

"You mean we." Valour glared.

Kirk looked around spotting a rare bendy stick. He grinned. He had done this a thousand times in his youth, avoiding crooks back home. It was possible the bravest thing he had ever done.

"Like this." And then he took a running leap into the air pole vaulting into the window.

Charming looked at Valour. "Are you doing that? I am so not doing that." Valour nodded agreeing.

"Lets just go through the secret trap door hidden under that bush."

While the Princes had been deciding how to get to the Princess, Jill had slayed the dragon and was now pulling off shiny red scales to make herself a necklace, or possible the prettest armour the world has ever seen.

"Come Jill!" Valour waved his arms impatiently.

"Alright, I am coming. Jeeze, talk about under aprechaited." She grumbled throughing her sword over her shoulder and pocketing the scales.

"My savouir!" The Princess cried. "My sweet Prince." He coughed shrugging her off.

"I am not a Prince."

"Your not? Then where is my Prince?" She glared at Kirk.

"Here." Valour and Charming bolded through the room together, followed by Jack and lastly Jill.

"How did you get in here?" Kirk stared in shock, his idea had been brillant.

"We took the stairs." Valour said smugly as Kirk moaned. The princes both looked at the Princess studying her beautiful face.

"You know what Val, you can have her." Charming briefly looked at the girl then turned his attention to Jill. "Your hurt." He wiped away the blood on her cheek. It was only a scratch she had gotten from the bush coming through the trap door.

"Nah, I don't like blondes."

Suddenly the witch burst through the door.

"But your meant to marry her!" Cried the witch. Charming shrugged looking at Valour.

"She ain't our type." Charming smirked.

"How dare you!" the witch flicked her wand and Charming shrank into a frog. "Ha, the only way you will become a Prince again is if a maiden kisses you."

Kirk nudged Jill. "You've kissed worse right?" She glared but picked up the frog planting a nice slobbery kiss on the green skin. Charming twisted and turned back to his normal self. The Witch screamed angrily. Kirk, had enough with this adventure and decided it was time for it to come to an end. He picked up the Princess's bed pan and whacked the witch over the back of the head. The witch fell flat on her face and didn't get back up.

"My Hero!" the Pretty blonde princess squealed with deliheght throughing her arms around Kirk. She shot both Prince's a sour look before kissing Kirk on the cheek.

"Can we go home now?" Jack complained. They all laughed walking down the stairs.

"Hey Kirk?" Valour called back to their advisor. "do you think I have a chance with your sister?" Kirk groaned. That was the last thing he needed, to be related to these idiots.

And they lived happily ever after….well kind of….

It's over!!! Yippy!!! Does the happy dance!! Thanks for those who reviewed I love you all! And thank you if you read it even if you didn't review! (ps one more can't hurt right?) hope you all liked the end, now this is done I am going back to ruining harry potter!! Cheers!!


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